dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
