i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We had sex on a dog bed..
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
