i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
