Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
