I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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