who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
