Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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