all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
