Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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