We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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