You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
