I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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