let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
