An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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