and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
