she looked like the bat from fern gully.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
