true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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