I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Houston, we have a squirter
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
