Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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