Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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