She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
PANTIES FOUND
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
