why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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