Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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