Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
