Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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