I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
