well most of my day revolves around power hour
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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