you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
