Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
