I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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