he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
