went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
