Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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