That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
