I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
