Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
