i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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