I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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