I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
