hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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