How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
