Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
