can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
