I feel like abortions should bother me more
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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