Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
