we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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