i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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