Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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