Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
