Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize