If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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