I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
