im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
