if only i could text you this smell
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
