i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
