I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
