If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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