Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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