Dual....:-)
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
