Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
