She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
