Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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