Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
love makes seman taste better
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
