But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
