I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
