we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Randomize
