I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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