So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
