Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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