i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
