hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
