I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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