when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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