I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
